One of my new favorite authors a fun pack for you to do today:
- Katherine Victoria Vananderland
- Oct 1, 2020
- 3 min read
My name is Zoe McKey, and I’m here to offer my help on your journey of self-discovery. Before we dive into the exercises and practices to figure out the depth of who you are, let me say a few words about myself. I was born in Romania, raised mostly by my grandparents, as my mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was seven and couldn’t take good care of me. At the age of fourteen I had to move to Hungary, our neighboring country, in the pursuit of a better future. There was a time when I lived on $100 a month; rarely, I even had to steal food to complement my dietary requirements. Today I’m running multiple businesses, I’m traveling, and living a life I didn’t even dare dreaming of before. I had a rough start – a rough twenty years’ start – but I knew I could do better, and live happier. My faith in fate working in my favor was relentless. I’m genuinely so grateful to life for the amazing gifts I received and the invaluable lessons it put me through shaping my character, tenacity, and willpower. I consider hardships my teachers. Hardship brings clarity, contemplation, and if you’re honest and growth-oriented, change. Every change starts with being aware of the need for change and being willing to change. No one ever changed only because someone told them so. They get triggered and defensive at best, rationalizing all the way through why they are right and the other person is only attacking them for no good reason. This may or may not be true but we can’t truly know unless we get in touch with ourselves honestly. Honest selfassessment is key to self-knowledge, self-understanding, and ultimately, a good life. I learned this the hard way. Even though I gained lots of “adult skills” prematurely, like how to do your own paperwork, how to make money, how to budget, and how to develop good time and energy management habits to balance your day, I was bitterly lacking the soft skills of an adult such as: understanding my triggers, being willing to communicate in a calm way, not taking everything personally, regulating my emotions, saying sorry if I made a mistake, taking responsibility for my actions, and so on. Having good skills in one area of life can give you a tilted vision about who you are and can make your blind to your blind spots. I was very blind until not long ago. I took great pride in surviving on my own ever since I was fourteen. I was proud that I made more money than my father at the age of twenty-three. I was proud that I was a responsible citizen, paid my taxes on time, had my own apartment, and didn’t need anyone’s help. That’s a great accomplishment and I feel very grateful to myself. Indeed, I mastered the “how to survive and get from 0 to 100” skill. But at the same time, my relationships were failing one after the other. My friendships were shallow, I felt very conflicted about my parents, and I was under constant stress and emotional anxiety. And I didn’t know why. And then last year, I started to figure it out. • I didn’t know who I truly was. • What did I want from life beyond immediate survival? • Who did I want to be as a person? • What kind of relationship did I want? • What were my boundaries? I know many of us struggle to figure out these questions, and I’m not alone with them. For almost a year now, self-discovery and self-understanding became my full-time job. I slowed down on writing books, counseling, and engaging on social media, because I wanted to deepen my knowledge about myself and the process of self-discovery first so I can help you – as always – with credibility. I want to do my trials and errors first. I’m doing them. Oh, there are so many pitfalls, accelerators, but the journey is beautiful and rewarding. The cliché of no journey being so interesting as the one into your own heart is absolutely true. As time moves on, I will bring to you more and more valuable material on how to find, and ultimately create, your best self. This little free material is a self-discovery starter kit, it contains the questions that can help you find where your blind spots are, where you need to dig deeper, and how to understand yourself better. If you wish to deepen your self-discovery practice, check out my two latest books. They can give you all the essentials to make the first (biggest) step on this thousand mile journey called “me”. The Mind-Changing Habit of Journaling Rewire Your Confidence I wish you a great journey! Love, Zoe
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