Mental Health Conditions That Don't Add Up

In 2012, I was diagnosed with ADHD or Attention Deficient Hyper-Active Disorder this put a stigmatic into who I am. What the doctor figured out is that I retain 30% of every thing I do. What then helped me get through 16 years of college and regular school. I am a overcome, one who jumps over adversity, and lands in place right where I need to be. Early in life I was working for a Major Corporation at NOKIA ~ "Connecting People" - is what we did. It helped me with my career to multi-task on so many events and tasks that I did in a normal day.

Don't Let a Table Determine your Reality - The panel doesn't control who I am.

I have had several people tell me "Joy, your call reports are like going on a visit with you; I can hear you speak, with your data findings its creative, accurate, and powerful the connections that you put together for competitive intelligence" -Greco. I would take a look at adverting, placement, store availability and, T-Mobile and AT and T had more of our phones so I would go there. It seems like sixteen years ago I had everything going for me; I made the choice to work on the marketing team.

It was the first to go in a down market that we were experiencing right out of college. What happened to me was a PTSD attack and I lost everything. I had went from sales to marketing and then we were in a physical location and with all of our phones and then the carriers were in the mall that we would help push with each phone. The concept of the "Experience Center" - was taking off but, not enough. It was in the winter in December of 2005 and then ended in February of 2006. I should of fraught back but, the experience center was then faded out and my job was replaced.

One of our associates was looking at some pornography on the computer and it "Triggered" me, as that ridiculous material was on in the basement where my room was in the living room at night and it triggered me. I wasn't the one watching it; but one of the adults in my house. I should of called a crisis center and went into a place like I am at right now. I would of been able to bounce back a little better than I am right now. There were women walking by and I yelled the word F!@#$ and, that was the end of me. It was a reaction of what I saw on the screen just too much for me to deal with.

NOKIA was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me; I had it all right out of college in 2004 - $40K plus, phone, internet, mileage, airfare, hotels, and entertainment and food all paid for by the corporation. Flying high in the sky to a sales convention was just another social drunken affair with intelligence. Running through the air port in stilettos to catch a plan with a hang over and buzz at the same time was no life to live. I don't know what would of happened to me if I would of stayed with that Company; a raging alcoholic I think. Party's and Fun, and sales events were part of my world when working with Nokia. I would go to MC'coy's every night and have my wine and best hamburgers in the world and drink till the lights went on. This was while I was at Bally Total Fitness working out with some top Trainers who helped me get to 108 back in 2013, now seven years ago.

One bad accident and it took me out of work for six years now, and put me into a crisis unit in addition to solving a homicide that repeated itself 160 times. Adventure, Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous was for me for my early life; I had my gravy early and it was Sweet. Wound up meeting the wrong guy, wrong career, wrong everything. Didn't think to much that I wouldn't be with the company I really didn't know what to do after loosing this job. It was a blow to my psyche, how would one recover after a fall from a Corporate Ladder and no other big company seemed to want me. In my mid 20s with no direction or purpose or reason to live. I hit a environmental deep depression and anxiety that I had no idea I'd be a mother in my 30s. This has been the most rewarding thing for the past seven years; rasing intelligent gifted children. Early life may have robbed me of my innocence but, the later 10 years has shaped me into the woman I am today.

After major trauma, a bad relationship, abuse, A.A., Anxiety/Depression/ later to be diagnosed with ADHD and then PTSD from the Car Accident that took me out of my reality for six years we come up on the anniversary and I forgot it this year. It was a accident that hit me at 168mph in 2015 July, 16th. Nothing was ever the same after that experience because I had left to go home in August of 2009 to go back to Nisswa to recover from being an alcoholic no direction of what to do with my life and suffered from not being able to pull funds to go back to school. I suffered because I didn't get any help to go back to school and they didn't believe in the education system because I couldn't pull it together. Enough environmental reasons, had me at a stand still.

Then, after having an abortion in 2010 May, I started to get back into the gym, I started to practice good health to get in the best shape of my entire life. It was 2010 Summer that I finally got fed up with being fed up of being to fat. My life and my stomach was ruined and I needed to get in-shape I had gained weight up to 168 pounds.

Then one day, I just started at In Motion Fitness in Baxter, "A Body in motion, stays in motion" - a great place to have my own personal gym. Not many people would b e in at a time and once the pounds started melting off me I decided to go back to work. I worked at Target - Retail at the store level and Starbucks - At the store level for them. My mornings would begin at 4:00a.m. the clock would go off and 3:45 some mornings just to get ready for work till about 10pm at night giving me a split with 3 to 4 hours to kill in the gym. It was so healing for me I would think about my future and life and then got involved with the wrong man again who was the same as I met at the Gym. I was always looking for my fathers but, never knew who they were. Looking back if I would of used that money I saved and then saved another 10k and stayed back one more year to save for college it would of worked. I had made 50K but 40k of it was stolen, all my efforts gone. Then when I went back to Brained / Nisswa Again in 2017 I remained UN employed and that has been like this since 2015 of the accident.

Looking back, I had enough to go back to college with I should of waited 2 more years before I left and went with enough money to go to school. Now its hard to make that kind of money but perhaps if I can get GRH housing and work to get myself off Governmental Health Care I could save enough money to go back to college. I have been looking for grants and things for people who are in transition; that's where I am at. All of my troubles have led me into the field of Education or Social Work. Its just so hard for me to accept that I didn't do it the right way I took a job that I shouldn't of because it was taken from me after three months of being in the city. Then, I had to tap my resources and the job at Target never happened because of something that happened to my wrist. I am looking to get a name change after I get my real id. Then if I could find a job that I could make good enough money I could go back to school and live out my dream of being a Teacher.

I like the idea of working for a large corporation because there are so many benefits but, now I am a mother and all my struggles have led me to this time we cal crisis. I have been living in crisis ever since the accident. I lost 88 pounds all to gain it back. Right now, I am about 200lbs and was at 108lbs at my best. When I was thinner things were easier, I felt Sexy and I knew it; but didn't flaunt it. I could lift up 140 pounds in 4 inch platform heals in the gym to just make a statement. I had a good new car 2013 Honda Sport and only with 6k left to pay it had 3 accidents on it, I wasn't able to get them fixed, and I let the car go. It was 2017, and my Cancer had gotten out of control after the accident 2016 - 2019 were there most difficult years of my life. All I did was sleep, drinking monster, pain pills, and depression spiked high with anxiety.

What would happen next?

Then it was apparent when I moved back the second time things didn't go as planned I was working at a sporting goods store and didn't have a second job, and went to the gym a little bit but, not enough to get back in that quality of shape. I have boiled it down to I just need to have the desire, want, and need to make it happen again. I lost 30 pounds listening to Pit bull walking 2 straight hours and it seemed to work but, then I picked up everything and came back to the cities.

Now, It was 2019 with no job and many prospects I went back to the city, spent the winter in a Homeless Shelter, Foster Care parents, Crisis Center, and now waiting to go to a nursing home or apartment; still looking for work, with no car, and no license because of a bogus call to the Brainerd Police. Brainerd police asked me if I had hit a man and I said no. Now its, been some long drawn out process till August 27th the same date that I was let go from Nokia. "27th"

But now, with a plan to get back to school I may have found some grant money through the state and plan to take as many classes as I can on-line now with Covid-19. Covid-19 may help me get back on my feet because most of the world is on a standstill with this.

My salvation has come in being a mother who provided care for my officer captain original copy sophisticates. They have been the highlight of this darkness that keep me going today, and each day of my life. I plan to move to Edina to be back with them after all this blows over and, then go back to school on-line so I can teach them for K - 12 and get them ready for college. They are my joy my happiness every morning and through the day. We have big plans for next September 2021 for traveling to a special place for their reading incentive of read a total of 100,000 pages. We have companies that we have built around covid-19 and a very big adventure with "World Adventure" - a PTSD theme park for returning veterans or military personal in Chaska.

We have a car wash / detailing, and we provide meals to people over lunch, recipes for every day on the daily dish, and laundry, dry cleaning, organization life / work balance and we are also a environmental cleaning company. We are a Non-Profit Organization of Edina Home School; and then our business ventures are under the Non Profit, LLC.

We are excited about the future, we are happy to make dreams come true, if it can happen to me, it can happen to you. I am so thankful for all the people who have been in my "Recovery" of a bad Accident / Sober Period Focus, part of my life into motion. I am excited and ecstatic to be their mother and a wife to their father. Being Katherine Victoria VanAnderland, Original Copy is a exciting time because it will be what pulls my life back together. We have big family goals, and life goals, and together as the family in Edina we will be on the mark soon enough. We are raising Olympians with double swimming practices every single day of the week. They may try hockey in the winter not sure yet.

A major Thank You to all of you in the Original Copy Officer Captain Family!

I wouldn't be alive without your help and thoughtfulness. We are going to loose the weight and I will keep it off with a new lifestyle of the rich and famous part II; College Bound in the Fall and On the Move. Thank You; America for picking me, and thank you America for helping our Family be KVV' Orginal Copy Officer Captains.