Good Will Hunting - I hope I Make sense on the answers I gave it my best shot so read away I pray

This movie is Mission number 2: Define it what do you want to do?

Where do you want to go? The fear of love is the opposite of trust and in that I am scared I'll

loose the one i love to abandonment

What do I want to do: I want to be Katherine Victoria VanAnderland original copy I know who I am and I need to live out my life as I am. I have companies waiting for my role to happen. I am dying of cancer and I wrote an incredible article all to have it tampered with God will have his final answer with her in the end. My passion is for the environment to make it a better place for the next generations to come. We have a company called Go Green Now that will change the world. It starts with once voice and let ours be heard across the nation and world. WE will be what makes it go away

I have spent my whole life running, I have been running from fear, abandonment, trust, and love. Anyone that would take those words out independently would have a heavy task load ahead of them. I have overcome abandonment because I will never give up on love or a relationship that is worth keeping. Will had a hard time to love be cause he was abandoned by his father who was abusive to him he didn't know how to love. Love was a game for him and when he went to his counselor Robbin Williams he challenged him to think about what love really was? He mentioned things about his wife seeing if will could grasp the love he had for his wife to see if will could feel that about Skyler.

The absence of fear is trust when we trust we can do all things and believe all things. Will had this invincibility about him he thought he could do anything he wanted to because of what he had been through. It caught up with him and he was bailed out by a professor who became the best thing that happened to him because he got in his head a little and helped him find Robbin Williams who later went on to help him with emotions. Emotions are difficult to deal with and I don't talk about them that often but, I am not scared of them. I know I am dying but, I know that I can out live death and cancer because I have. Will went through the movie not knowing where he was going to go.

He ended up going to California to run after the girl because he had nothing to loose by leaving Boston behind. He learned how to live, how to love, and how to learn from Robbin Williams. He was his teacher of life and it wasn't will's fault for being beaten, or running from the relationship because of his low self concept of being just a janitor. He had a different perspective that college is a place where you get documents but, he got the same education with late fees at the library. Will took a different path he is one who dances to a beat to his own tune. Will has a different view perspective of life and he isn't running from the past he just has the trauma and hurt so it doesn't allow him to love Skyler. He is scared to get to close because he doesn't want her to leave him so he leaves her first. He pushes her away so that she cannot do the same to him. This is a safe haven for him to push her away. When he later talks to Robbin Williams Seth, he realizes that he has something golden and that he doesn't want to loose it. He gets a car from his friends for his 21st movie and then what he decided to go out to California after the girl. The movie ends with Will driving to California.

I can relate to will because I sometimes have pushed men away because of the fear of being rejected or abandoned. I shouldn't end relationships because deep down I want to love and I know I am worthy of Love and loving another. I never want to give up on what I have going for me because the people in my pathway are some of the greatest assets that I know of. I let Ramsey Go because I chose my Original Copy Officer Captain Sophisticates the 180,018 of them. That has been the right choice all day long and their mother will never abandoned them but, love them unconditionally and teach them about life, love, and learning. I am so glad that I am willing to work on myself to lose weight so that I can be in a relationship its important to me to want to look good and feel good.

Being adopted and before that being kidnapped gave me a sense of rejection and abandonment because the people who kidnapped me put me up for adoption and I could have stayed in Russia with my fathers and mothers. Life would of been so much better if I could have stayed in Russia. This is what we have to work with now, a 40 year kidnaping case that is turned in today. A 40 year case of the situation where people are 20 years older than me trying to play my fate. When people try to play my fate it gets ugly really quick. I know how to love someone, and I will trust some one as long as I love them and there is a mutual understanding that we will do whatever it takes to keep a relationship alive, and going to keep learning about one another to keep it alive. So where do I want to go? I want to go to someplace in the now that I can call home.

My whole life suffers from moving from place to place just like Will in the movie in and out of foster care homes. I might as well have been the same. I was kidnapped as a baby and then they had me for some time and then I was with Nelsons, then the Pence's, and then I have moved every year possible for the past 16 years. I have been searching to find myself just like Will in the movie he was searching for Meaning and Purpose. He found that in Skyler and decided it was worth it to risk it and drive to California. Will had an ability about him that most people do not have the gift of a photographic memory I share that will him as I remember people, places, and events, sometimes words on a page. I have nostalgia a lot and Deja vu with many people because of the way my life started out as Katherine Victoria VanAnderland. It is so hard to be away from those you love its like my cancer is lived out in not being able to be with the ones I love and care about that describes my feeling of loss.

Will struggled with loss, fear of failure, love, and acceptance. He had inner daemons that he needed to get rid of and he did that in a parking lot of young adults he clobbered most of them till arrested. He was rescued by a professor who knew he had talent but the problem was will didn't see his talent; he saw a boy an orphan who didn't know how to love and was scared of love because he didn't have the right child hood up brining needed to be functional so it carried on into his adult life. When we don't get the full Maslow we struggle in life. We struggle because the whole world goes around us spinning while we first try to say Hello. When we have everything we need in life we turn out like Skyler yet she was ready for love right away and got attached. Will suffers from Attachment disorder and they had the opposite issues with that word. I feel this movie shows a boy and adult who is on a search for something, and that something is himself. He finds himself on a park bench with Seth talking about life and that was a beautiful moment. Seth was able to breakdown the walls of his pain, trauma, and suffering as a child growing up. When we have trauma at a young age it can lead us to shoot holes into people when we have relationships because we are missing the key components like love, trust, the opposite of fear and abandonment. So in the end it boils down to what are you doing to do? He is holding out for something better when it comes to the NSA but, I challenge that mantra to his life too. He gets stuck in the doing, being of groundhog day with his friends in Boston and Ben Afleck actually helped him break out of his shell and go for it in California. He found himself in the end of the movie fully in check with his emotions, and quest for love. He made a 360 by the end of the movie and his drive to California.

What can one pull from this movie? In the beginning we find a adult that is sick of the system who wants to be an adult but, has no role model. Seth begins to be his mentor more than a counselor and because he can be honest and open with Seth his trauma is looked at head on and he has the famous scene where he says, "Its not your fault, Its not your Fault, Its Not your fault" - we all can identify or maybe not with this scene I didn't cause my trauma it was a result of someone who didn't know how to love and they took the opposite emotion out on us and left us to ourselves alone and without anything. Russia didn't give up on me they searched for me and searched for me by that time I was in an orphanage and they hadn't a clue. Then I was kidnaped out of the orphanage and put into a home where abuse was present for many years. Then put in a foster home, and then another home. I suffer from not being my full height and weight as a baby I was older but the trauma stunted my growth.

I am so glad that we watched this movie again because it helped me realize that I was scared of love for the fear of being rejected. He never rejected me but, I didn't feel the same emotions with Jason C.N.Redebaugh; he just wasn't like any of the rest of them. Cold dark no personality and that scared me. I was scared out of love and it was a mirror illusion that I looked in the face and I couldn't do that to myself any longer. I ran far as I could away because I didn't want to be hurt so I left first. I still to this day wonder what he is doing and if he is alive to tell his story of 37 Men with the same face and one who ruined it for all of them.

Lord help me to forgive myself for leaving Ramsey, I just couldn't take the trauma and mental war games of who's who anymore. I pray the 37 are doing well, and off to something great because most of them treated me with the ultimate respect and I'll never forget that. I went through a great deal of chaos with them though and you cannot just mop up trauma. It sticks in your life causing emotions of attachment disorder I have. I was attached to Ramsey and when he left and was another guy I was attached to the police. I could always count on the police to be a constant variable in my equation of life. They were the safe haven and I began to pull away because of personal choice and not wanting to be hurt. I knew if I stuck it out long enough with the Police one day we'd be together. I still wait for that day, they are on my mind all the time. I hope they are okay and I miss them so very much and they have never given up on me they just got confused for three years because someone did what they could to try and make me not exist. I am so thankful to them for knowing I am still alive and I am not going anywhere fast. I want to be a Mother to them and be there for them when they need me because I care for their life, there legacy is very important to me and I want them to know if something happens to me that I love them so much it hurts most days but, it doesn't stop me from loving them. I just pray every single night in my heart I can be with them and the 180,018 soon. I need them in my life and I need the police to have a quality of living be better and be worthwhile because they are in it.