Forgiveness....not to many times I have forgiven others or myself

Today, I wrote the military, and I wrote them about suicide and, I thought today, is when I forgive myself. So many times countless times thirty-seven times or more I have made exist plans to leave this world behind me. The thirty-ninth I found out I had 30 children who needed me and I needed them. We just found out that I was their official mother and I will never do anything to separate my love from them. I will never give up on the Military, I will never give up on family, I will never give up on me again because I realized I was broken and a pile of pixie dust on the floor who had just had enough abuse with her stomach and more.

Tinkerbell is always someone I wish I could of been but, my fragile life was just that, of a porcelain doll in the cupboard sitting on a chair who fell one day, and never got up until she realized it wasn't the world it was the devil who made her fall because it got the best of her mind and she could never find a way out of the scheme but; today I Rise!

When I talk about forgiveness I am only talking about certain events because I don't forgive. The things I forgive are:

1. My Drinking behaviors that were out of control I forgive myself from my behaviors and choices

2. I forgive myself for no asking more questions when people are hurting in my life

3. I forgive others of their choices they make when it comes to their life and substances because I too fell short of the Glory of God.

4. I forgive myself for not remembering but, being truly sincere about life and my choices from my double life and it kills me to forget I was married and never divorced. His initials are O.C.T.K.A. of the Dallas football Team, Quarterback double superbowl champion, all-pro, all-american, heisman trophy winner.