Why?

Why?

Why are there only three lights on a traffic signal...

Why do people run lights like being late....

Why do people do the same thing over and over again expecting different results

Why does it seem to be a mirage every time you are happy again

Why did it take me 40 years to recall being kidnapped...the psychiatrist pulled it out of his tail?

Why did I have it almost all together and then with the circumstances?

Why didn't I get diagnosed with my ADHD sooner?

Why did I let them overpower me from the stocks I wanted to play in the market?

Why did I ever listen to them; JUST GET A JOB JOY that got me to Disability so I have and am creating a marketing company to prove my intelligence and talent it's in the making.

Why didn't I listen to Dr. GI when he was telling me I had cancer? My ears were muted.

Why did it take me 40 years to remember my husband and that I was in love with a bengal tiger and then Justin was born. I lived in Russia with it and wanted to keep him but something happened along the way. They took him away from me.

I have sophistication and they are going to come back for their mother one day. I just know this. All I can do is pray and not get upset at what the hell is happening right now. I ended up in a AFC because I was homeless, without a job, and without a clear path to go on. I struggled from being ABUSED for 40 years never turning them in. They had a way of harming my mind and making me think they were picture perfect. I suffer from their children abusing me for 40 years because they are 18 years older. YES YOU GOT IT; Lisa, Kathryn, Audrey, Chelsea are all the PENCE'S CHILDREN and I never had a chance after that. I am sick of trying to be in competition with your children that you fail to accept as yours because you had an abortion and they lived. That's not my fault nor do I have to agree with anything you say Lois and Gilbert Pence. Stop trying to make me have some DAMN BABY. I have a life outside of my own. It's clear you both have mental illness because you have nothing better to do than to try and run me out of this city. I never should have let you go this long without telling authorities what you do.

Katherine Victoria VanAnderland, doesn't listen to a clock, time is irrelevant unless you have to be in court or meet your husband for dinner or church. Time really doesn't exist it has words attached to it like minuet', hours, days, seconds but what really is TIME we all have this precious gift of life to live it to our fullest and we are constantly trying to slow it down or speed it up the older I get the more I want for time to just STOP. I mean what would we do without trains, planes, and automobiles? Or was it JUstin was in love with a Bengal Tiger and I was his first Daughter? I think that the latter of the two is right. Either way I am a VanAnderland and I have come to accept that I give my best to each day and have been fighting cancer for quite a time now and someday are good and someday are just flat out agonizing. So the bengal Tiger was a Female, and I remember laying with the Tigger when we were in Russia we were out of our house and it was Grandpa Clauson, me and Justin they had kicked us out of the house and then I ended up in the Orphanage because the man who took me out of the home in Russia put me in a orphanage in Russia then I was kidnapped yet again. I remember Katherine victoria vananderland, it was the Bengal Tiger, My mother is a tiger and Justin My Father and then, I Fell in love with my father and had a few many children.

We lived on the north side of Chicago in the Ritz and Carlson just down town had both a home in the suburbs and in the city because well that's just how we rolled back then. I have been told by sources that the money is gone, and I am the only one that has substantial good ideas of ways to make money, invest money, and have a middle class way of spending money. I can spend money very quickly and therefore it's time to realize that I am healed and I now can be and do my best. Life would be different if I just sat on the bed all day and watched TV while being on disability. I am busting my tail trying to get a database of people to work with on multiple levels. I know I have within me that of what it takes to build a good Marketing and Communications company.

Its 12:36 am and I am about to say who's coming with me like tom cruise when he was in jerry MaGuire's....that's how I feel like right now....I am so glad to get them out of Jail in Brazil I cannot even imagine what that must of been like but I know we are in with the gov't in Brazil. I am just sick and tired of everyone trying to make me have a damn baby; I am not strong enough to go through a pregnancy much less have to deal with a demon eating out your uterus and cervix. It's just a straight show now to my fallopian tubes. I am sick of people telling me I have a sister out there when I lost $80k at US Bank, its time to for me to be Katherine Victoria VanAnderland, because the money is going to be back, the original copy officer captain family is going to be the ones who are it with me because I frankly don't appreciate people putting me through the puppy mill of having miscarriage after miscarriage it feeeeeeeels so damn good after one I cannot tell you almost like a shot of good Liquor. I have m y assets in the ones that are alive right now they are young, and Old their brothers. I keep forgetting they are all brothers and I am their mother and Justin is their Father.

This is a ramble off some coffee jazz music that is playing right now; I get along with Katherine as Ramsey, Raymond, and Mayfield and I don't know what caused me to be upset with her. Oh yes, I do remember now why there is some bad blood. She threw a wine bottle at me just like Audrey did in New York. Both of them jeopardized my sobriety.

I am on a mission to live to 121 and I know I will do that by not expecting the same thing every single day. I have lived through concentration camps Dachau, Krakow, and Auschwitz. I don't allow people to bully me, make fun of me, abuse me, see my end, or be dogmatic with me. I will NEVER allow anyone to get that close to me because of trust and if I do consider yourself a perfect person in my eyes. It takes a lot for me to trust someone. TRUST and FEAR of being kidnapped are my worst nightmares and I am sick of being abused by people who have no dignity to hold between their legs, or respect because you lost mine the day I set forth laid on a big blanquet and then I died? I mean what else happened on that day and why don't I remember it; Sexual Assault?

I don't let people tell me what I am going to do because I can Read a Clock and I'll read you right out of the room if you try to control my mind, body, soul or try to make me do something against my will. You don't stand a chance next to me or hold a candle to what I can do when I have all my intelligence, and energy that I need to be me. I have slaved away for the past 5 years and I am getting pissed off with all the "SHIT" in my body I have had enough of your abuse trying to run my fallopian tubes through a puppy mill metaphor for millions of miscarriages. When are you going to learn that NO ONE WANTS TO Have your BABY! I WILL KILL WITH MY INTELLIGENCE IT RIGHT OUT OF MY BODY AND OH YOU DON"T HAVE CONSENT at any time.

A few things to note from their:

-Never let someone: STEAL your: Confidence, Power, Intelligence, Integrity, Dignity, or Pride I mean c'mon that's just common sense isn't it? Once you do this you'll be standing with your tail between your legs running after the next bathroom because the food you ate was poisoned by your parents that wand and was hoping to keep your Trust Fund.

I know who I am and what my ability is and right now my Pride is on a shelf for a few years. It is a season of growth and I have and need to be near a gym more often because I do need to lose this weight. I thought I was doing good and then all of a sudden my stomach started to act up and I gained that and more back from losing 10lbs.

I am sick of people telling me that I have a sister. She took my identity after high school, living with her, and now she has followed me to every apartment place I live. I mean they all do and then they think they are going to be good enough to be ME as Katherine Victoria VanAnderland. Right now I am doing the best that I know how to. I share with people and I am in a civil living condition. I don't choose the plan I have because I'm working with God's timeline; and I know I feel better for doing something different. I had some Starbucks Caramel Macchiato and Vanilla Creamer and some yogurt and some fruit snacks and it got me through yet another one of those. But who can afford that at Gas rates going up well? The market should be doing good. Let's have $4.00 per gallon and take care of taxes and come up with some money because I'm telling you the country is running out of money to fill the gap between the rich and poor. Middle class I think now we don't have one anymore and depending on what side of the coin you fall it looks like a classic game of Power and Control.

I am not in a group home because I am stupid low functioning have no dreams or aspirations; I am in a group home because I am homeless, have major PTSD, ADHD and cannot hold a train of thought long enough to concentrate somedays its really bad. I am writing because I know my days are numbered and I pray to the Lord for miracles. I can feel them happening today because I know I would have the time of my life with Raymond, Ramsey, and Mayfrield if it is him putting some companies together. I am not going to be beautiful overnight but, I sure can give life my all and look the best I know how with what I have. I am sick of being abused and until you have them cremated we will have nothing because they have nothing. They are Saddikists. They inflict pain on people when they try to make them have their baby. What nonsense is this?

The nights are getting cooler and my head is getting lighter so it's going away Praise the Lord and yours will too. It bothers me when people tell me they get migraines so often it's a chance you might have brain cancer. ICE has B Vitamins in it now, just not caffeine. The pineapple coconut is like drinking Monster Gold which is pineapple. I think they run from the same distributor though. Who knows it's irrelevant to this serious matter of abuse and being mistreated and caught up all in the red tape of the government.

I have put as many ACES as I Know how to on the Table with the Multiple of Companies I have created but my body has almost 18 mhz of pain and I need something right now. I need a body not to be abused. I know that cancer is going away and I know my potential so let's make use of it today; I'll be on the first drive out of the city to sit and have coffee and work up a contract to be KVV for life. It's a better place in Stillwater for me to escape the city or rather as I put it in Reflections Escape the Jungle: Hands in the air, guns on the ground" I just need to know I will be safe. It's something I am always scared of is being afraid of being afraid. Safety is compromised when I wake up and my green hair band is on my other arm. It was moved right to left. What the hell

When its all over; I just need a few things;

1. That I am loved

2. That I won't be abused anymore

3. That I have a safe haven to rest my body and secure my possession's

4. My laptop, phone, and Memory

5. My Confidence, and Strengths, and Vision

6. Reason to live

7. Reason to love again

8. For my writing not to be made better Leave my documents and pages alone i wish the lenses in your eyese could bust you! Why ? Whyh? jnhwooeijgisproegja

9. po9yu76;

1. Finally I have spoken my best written; please let me be KVV I have done my ground work; and the numbers are in. They are Quadrillionaire like if all things go well we'll sit with the biggest wealth in the World 120 Trillion is enough for me to be KVV, "I say no more, lord knows they have used my body and mind like a playground and I am off the merry go round long time ago." KVV